Rec Center Reception

Joe Rosen (pictured on the right above with his younger brother Zev) had his Bar Mitzvah on Dec. 6, 2008 in Woodbridge, CT. His parents, Eve and Marc, took a number of steps to decrease the impact of the event, starting with the invitation. Instead of choosing a paper invitation, they used Wedding Windows to create a website with all of the information on it and sent out an electronic save-the-date and RSVP link.

To decrease the carbon footprint of the event, both the ceremony and reception were held at the synagogue. They avoided buying new or disposable items by borrowing what they could and renting the rest.

Clothing
Everyone (Eve, Marc, Joe and Zev) wore outfits that they already owned. The family also chose to skip buying monogrammed kippot and a new tallis. "Joe really did not want a tallis, so we just borrowed one from the synagogue - I certainly did feel pressure to buy one but I resisted. We also used the kippot available at the synagogue." said Eve.

Decor
They saved paper at the reception by renting glassware and decorated the tables with live potted plants. The plants were used again to decorate the tables at brunch the next day, and at the end of the party guests were invited to take them home.

Party
Instead of a traditional dance party, the family hosted a small reception at a local rec center so "no plastic toys, dj, etc were used." The kids enjoyed ice skating...

..and the adults enjoyed laser tag!

For dinner, guests were served local lamb and organic fava bean soup, prepared by Robin Bodak. For decoration, Eve borrowed paper flowers and lanterns from a friend, who had used them for her daughter's bat mitzvah a few months earlier.

Music for the dinner was played on borrowed speakers and "a cousin and uncle provide an ipod with music for evening party."

Mom's Take on Going Green
"Thinking green gave me a whole new paradigm to consider my choices for Joe's Bar Mitzvah. There were many things I had often thought were wasteful or unnecessary ( like buying kippah instead of using the ones already at any synagogue ), and I found considering the environmental impact freed me up to just say no to certain things and spend less time and money on others while still having a celebration that we enjoyed."

MAZON - The Jewish Response to Hunger

MAZON is an amazing organization through which "tens of thousands of American Jews...have stepped forward to solve one of the world’s most devastating – and most preventable – problems" - namely HUNGER.

One of MAZON's missions is to bring awareness of poverty and hunger to Jewish life cycle events, including Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations.

As they write on their Bar/Bat Mitzvah Page:

"Your bar or bat mitzvah day is one of the few that will stay with you all of your life. Our Jewish tradition tells us to mark special occasions by celebrating with family and friends, in part so that these memorable days will remain with us forever.

An accompanying tradition teaches us to deepen our happiness by sharing our joyous celebrations with people in need. It is especially appropriate to do so on the day of a bar/bat mitzvah, when a child becomes an adult and accepts responsibility for fulfilling the mitzvah of tzedakah.

On the day of your bar/bat mitzvah, millions of children in America and around the world will go hungry, as they do every day. Taken together, these two things (the tragedy of hunger and the happiness of a bar/bat mitzvah) represent the joy and sorrow of life. Both deserve your family's attention...Make this day even more special by providing food and other help, through MAZON, to poor families everywhere. You will enrich their lives —and your own. "

To honor the joys and responsibilities associated with this sacred right of passage, MAZON suggests giving 3% of the cost of your celebration to help fight hunger.

As with any donation you make in honor of your bar or bat mitzvah be sure to tell your guests about your eco-friendly and humanitarian choices. Mazon offers a few "unobtrusive ways to tell your guests that you’re sharing your bar/bat mitzvah with those in need" including:
1. Putting the information on the table cards (my husband and I used this technique for our wedding - you can see a picture by clicking here)
2. Giving certificates to honor your rabbi, cantor, friends or relatives.
3. Putting In lieu of Gift cards in your invitations so guests can make a contribution in your honor.
(You can find hyperlinked samples of all of the above by clicking here).

They also offer a model bar/bat mitzvah speech that incorporates their anti-hunger message - which is good news for any bar or bat mitzvah struggling to find the right words to inspire the congregation!

You can take the MAZON message one step further by doing what a friend of mine at his Bar Mitzvah - create centerpieces with baskets of canned goods and donate them to a local food bank after the event. Perhaps you can even make a large sculpture on the dance floor like these amazing creation from the 15th Annual Design/Build Competition Awards Gala in New York



Finally, see if your caterer can donate leftover food to one of the many Second Harvest locations.

Donate Your Flowers

Question:

Hi Kate, I would like to know about how to find a service that will pick up flowers and take them to nursing homes or hospitals.

Answer:
As far as I know there are no groups or service providers out there who do this (if anyone reading this knows of one please comment below!). However, you still have a few options.

First, if you are having your reception at the synagog, see if they want to use your flowers to decorate the beema for the coming week.

Second, it is not uncommon for florists to take on the role of post-party clean up and organization. If you have not signed a florist contract yet, or even if you have, see if your florist is willing to pick up and deliver the flowers to a worthy cause. Many florists already have relationships with charities and deliver leftover flowers as a matter of course.

Alternatively you can ask a friend or relative to take on the task. Make a few phone calls (or ask your friend or family member to make the calls) to hospitals, nursing homes, and other charities in the area and see if they are willing to accept flower donations so you/they can make the proper arrangements (no pun intended).

I hope you will come back and let us know what you were able to work out (and share pictures of the flowers you used!)

Mazel tov and all the best,

Kate